I am completely honored by all the heart-felt emails from you about my last post, which announced the end of the weekly blog event, Slightly Indulgent Tuesday, a.k.a SIT. I apologize for not personally responding to each of you. Honestly, caring for my family has taken up most of my time.
Obviously, there was some confusion, and I should have spelled it out more clearly in the post. SIT is not the same as this blog, Simply Sugar and Gluten-Free, which has affectionately been nicknamed by readers as SS&GF. SIT has been a weekly part of SS&GF for a long time.
You will still continue to hear from me, though maybe on a less regular basis for now. It seems that being Mom to two precious boys and running our household has taken over most of my brain and time. Before Nate, my 22-month old, arrived I truly believed that I could carry on with business as usual. And, for the most part I was able to make it work. So, I thought when Luke got here I’d be able to make things work as well.
It just hasn’t been so.
I finally accepted that to continue working at the same pace, I’d have to hire someone to help with my kids. I drew the line there. I don’t want anyone else to raise my boys.
My life is driven first and foremost by God and prayer. Daily, I ask Him for guidance and for the wisdom to hear and follow Him. I haven’t talked about it much here because I have felt, until recently, that faith and food don’t mix. At least not in this forum. Yet, being a mom has brought me to my knees on a very regular basis. There is no way for me to honestly share about the changes in my life without bringing up God and my faith.
Through much prayer, I have come to the decision to first and foremost be Mom. That means that other things come later on my priority list. Before coming to this decision I felt stressed, pulled in many directions, and very resentful. After making the decision, I was at peace. Total peace.
Last week, I had one of those moments in church when I felt like our minister had read my life and was talking directly to me. He talked about how a sure way to failure is to refuse to think forward and make changes. It’s so true. For my life to work today I need to think forward and make some changes.
Change isn’t always pretty. And it’s not comfortable either. I have so many raw emotions about admitting that I’ve chosen not to do it all. Yes, I could make it work. But I wasn’t willing to sacrifice the time with my kids for the money. Nor was my husband. I am so very grateful that, as husband and wife, we were able to make that choice today.
There was a quote shared on Facebook by my dear friend Tara that read, “For a seed to achieve it’s greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn’t understand growth, it would look like complete destruction. – Cynthia Occelli”
Here’s to change and all the undoing that comes with it for in it lies my greatest expression.